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  • Scientists Confirm Mugabe Can’t Die: Has Superhero DNA & Will Live Forever



    Respected scientists from the Science Institute based in the UK have been secretly investigating why Robert Mugabe does not DIE! This came after it was made known to the public back in 1999 that Mugabe does not dye or cut his hair.

    Mugabe, the famed political guru brought to Earth to wear black suits and rule with an iron fist has been the president of Zimbabwe since 1980. Many came and passed on, but Mugabe is still reigning with energy and might.

    It was said in 1999 that the now 92 year old Zimbabwean president does not need to go to the gym or eat veggies to stay healthy. He was born to live forever.

    People started believing this as pictures of him from the eighties and the seventies were brought forward to prove that he basically still looks the same after decades.

    Billions of dollars were then invested into researching Mugabe’s condition and scientists recently came out to say that they have concluded that they could not find any sign of decay in his DNA.

    They have taken DNA samples from his clothes, facecloth, toothbrush and hairbrush, and they have for years run tests but could not find any sign of mortality in the man.

    People have also said that he uses his walking stick as a disguise, He does not really need it.

    While we could not get a comment from the Zimbabwean government at the time of writing this satiricalpiece, Morgan Tsvangirai, Leader of the MDC however rubbished these findings, stating that Mugabe is just a man like everyone else. He also stated that Mugabe is a mortal person, not an ageless creature of smoke, silk, and sweet, sweet funk. Adding to the revelations that the 92-year-old’s body is just a collection of bones and tissues like any other.

    “We have never seen anything like this. At first we could not believe it, but after running a series of tests, we then realized that Mugabe is really immortal” said Dr. Irvin Koch, the lead scientist in this research.

    The research will go on until 2018 or until the program runs out of funds.

    This makes it clear now that Mugabe will rule forever. We are just not sure if this is good or bad news to the people of Zimbabwe.


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  • 34 migrants, including 20 children, found dead in Niger desert



    he bodies of 34 migrants, including 20 children, who were abandoned by people smugglers while trying to reach neighbouring Algeria were found in the Niger desert last week, authorities said on Wednesday.

    "Thirty-four people, including five men, nine women and 20 children died trying to cross the desert," Niger's interior ministry said in a statement.

    "They probably died of thirst, as is often the case, and they were found near Assamaka," a security source told AFP, referring to a border post between Niger and Algeria.

    "(The migrants) were abandoned by people smugglers," the statement added, and only two of the bodies have so far been identified - a man and a 26-year-old woman both from Niger.

    Temperatures in the region can reach a brutal 42C (108F), with blinding sandstorms tearing across the desert.

    The hostile conditions mean that only a fraction of those who die trying to cross the area are ever found.

    Thousands of illegal migrants have arrived in Algeria in recent years, mostly from neighbouring Mali and Niger.




    Libya used to play host to the majority of migrants in sub-Saharan Africa, but since that country descended into chaos following the ousting of Moamer Kadhafi, Algeria has become the main destination for the region's migrants.

    Many transit through Algeria headed for Europe, but more than 7,000 migrants from Niger, mostly women and children, were returned to their home country in 2015 as part of an agreement between the two countries' governments.

    Europe has recently turned its attention to trying to curb the number of illegal arrivals from Africa, after a deal with Ankara in March slashed the number of people trying to cross from Turkey.

    More than 2,814 people have drowned trying to reach Europe since January, according to the UN refugee agency, prompting urgent efforts to tackle the problem.

    A new proposal mooted last week involves using EU funds to promote private investment of up to €60 billion (£48 billion) in countries where many migrants come from - Ethiopia, Niger, Nigeria, Mali and Senegal, as well as Jordan and Lebanon.

    The European Commission also wants to speed up readmission deals with African countries, and with Pakistan and Afghanistan, to make it easier to send back people who do not win refugee status.

    The Commission is also set to unveil a plan for a "blue card" system for skilled migrants to come to Europe legally.

    The aim is to reduce the incentive for people to try to smuggle themselves into the continent on flimsy boats and put their lives at risk.

    Sourse, The Telegraph

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  • Al-Shabab says 43 Ethiopian soldiers killed in attack



    Somali rebel group al-Shabab says it has killed 43 soldiers in an attack on a base of Ethiopian troops serving with the African Union's AMISOM force Somalia.

    The town of Halgan, where Thursday's attack occurred, lies in the Hiran region of central Somalia, about 300km north of the capital Mogadishu.

    "Our fighters stormed the Halgan base of AMISOM ... We killed 43 AU soldiers from Ethiopia in the fighting," Sheikh Abdiasis Abu Musab, al-Shabab's military operations spokesperson, told Reuters news agency.

    He said "several" al-Shabab fighters had died in the raid but he did not give a figure.

    "It was a huge blast. It destroyed the gate and parts of the base," he said.

    Residents said they heard a huge explosion at the base and a heavy exchange of gunfire shortly before dawn.

    "Al-Shabab says they drove a car equipped with a suicide bomb into the base followed by armed men storming the base and killing the soldiers,” said Mohamed Adow, reporting from Kenya's capital Nairobi.

    An AMISOM spokesman said that there was "an attempted attack" at the base in Halgan.

    He said AMISOM forces were still in charge of the base, according to Adow.

    Al-Shabab often launches gun and bomb attacks on officials, Somali security forces and AMISOM in an effort to topple the government and impose its own brand of government on Somalia.

    In January, Kenyan troops serving with AMISOM suffered heavy losses when al-Shabab made a dawn raid on their camp in El Adde, near the Kenyan border.

    Al-Shabab said it killed more than 100 soldiers but Kenya gave no exact casualty figure.


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  • Exam cancelled, Egypt's prosecution to investigate leaks



    The Ministry of Education announced earlier on Sunday it would cancel the religion portion of the national secondary certificate exam after it was leaked online shortly before it was scheduled to take place.

    Social media accounts circulated a leaked copy of the Arabic language exam on the first day of the certificate exams, known in Arabic as Thanawya Amma.

    Exam questions were being circulated online 40 minutes from the official start of the exams. Trending hashtags emerged on Twitter and Facebook concerning the leak.

    This year, 560,000 students will sit for the annual examination.

    Students are not allowed to use their phones during the annual examination, and following the exam leak students caught with their phones during the exam will be disqualified.

    The Ministry of Education warned last week against anyone leaking the secondary certificate exam, noting that the perpetrators of any leak will be fined EGP 50,000.

    This year marks the fourth consecutive year in which general secondary exams have been leaked as social media and the prevalence of smart phones has facilitated the process.

    The Thanaweya Amma is the last stage of Egyptian high school education. Until 2013, the exams spanned two years, but afterwards were condensed into one. The exams are highly competitive.

    Source : ahram online

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  • The Weeknd Donated $50,000 to Ethiopian Orthodox Church in Toronto



    The Ethiopian Canadian music star, Abel Tesfaye A.K.A , The Weeknd donated $50,000 for the Ethiopian Orthodox  Church in Toronto .

    The double Grammy and five Juno Awards winner Abel Tesfaye- The Weeknd donated the money to St. Mary Cathedral Ethiopian Orthodox Church in Toronto.



    The announcement of Abel’s donation came during Saturday night’s celebration of Orthodox Easter at the Church.

    The head of the church Reverend Misale Engida stated that he and his congregation remember Abel Tesfaye coming to the church as a child.

    St. Mary Ethiopian Orthodox Church is one of the largest Cathedrals in Toronto. The Church has been a strong faith based institution in the social fabric of the Ethiopian community in Canada.

    The church is preparing to celebrate its 25th anniversary in a variety of events spanning between May 2-8.

    Photo Mahider Getachew.

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